to keep walking ( cause )

(this is not the present)

..*mumbles to myself* must keep walking... must keep walking.. keeping walking. *as tears clogs and gathers* must keep walking. for there is no more hope. And we cannot and can longer depend on that for strength. ... there comes time when sheer determination moves even without the slightest of hope, light or any form or chance ...regardless of the existence of any form of encouragement be it mortal or immortal. For the fall is even worse than death itself. That's when, one can move and carry on without hope without light. The sheer darkness of being alone and dying alone and fighting alone with total desolation and hopelessness... and certain devastation. This is a time where we do not care anymore about results. We no longer care if what we do matters, BUT the most important is we are doing something. We are. No time to cry, no time to grieve, no time to show weakness...Just trying. We are not even sure if we will ever succeed , but we are prepare to die while at it. ..a form of numbness comes, and we keep moving. keeping moving, keep walking. senselessness comes and we move into a state of subconsciousness .. vaguely remember just what we need to do, and we are doing... not knowing too sure anymore why, not knowing too sure anymore our cause... but just that we must keep moving. for we cannot accept anymore the cause of reality. The cause of certainty and the linearity of time.


.. I wonder how many of us ...have been blessed not to experience this.