..gasping at the buddha's leg..

I went to the temple today.
For I am a bad person.
I went to the temple today to pray.
For I am a bad person.

I thought to myself. There are a lot of bad people here isn't it ? I mean the whole temple is crowded. There are a lot of bad people.

Then I was told, that it's not true. Not only bad people come to the temple. I asked "really?" Then I wonder why do people go to the temple. Would someone who has been really a saint come to the temple and say " I am here today because I am too good a person." Will that happen? Would someone come to the temple and say "I am here today at the temple because I am doing so much good things." hmn....

Then I was told again that's not true. People come to temple with regards to things. Then I thought to myself, Then there must be a lot of greedy people. For the temple is crowded again. If most of them did not come to the temple because they are bad but just to want things. Because again I don't think someone would come to the temple and say " I am here today because I have too much things ." or " I am here today because I have too much money." dun think that would happen.



I go to the temple today.
because I am a bad guy.
I go because I wonder why my punishment is not here yet,
and I just simply want to thank buddha for the borrowed time.

"...against Elli..."

the hall of Utgarda-Loki, breathes the faint breeze..of mockery.
Here upon glazes that speak little, and what ye would call thee.
Yet this is, the fight of the mightiest for those whom are wise,
Pass the spell and illusion, Where man comes weak..before Elli.
For thee of strength that matches the gods cannot move,
and the harder thou push the faster Elli, she stood.
Now Elli as a old woman, stricken in years stood
And not even the mightiest and the strongest of us could
Come firm and strong Elli will and did ,
And thou held on longest all have seen,
For all man would and will fall,
All man but not thor,
Who gave just a knee to floor.

Glory !

"wash not woes , but high them more than tide of drinks, for knives drawn at water splits nothing..."

Haunting-s from one angel, finally moved me. As I shrink into recession...retract into calm. Backed into impotency. Yet in reason there I deny defeat, no fray of stance or confidence. But pleads... that do not force, but begs against hopes much as nil, relentless... pleads lay fray yet to a much much earful audience. As knife drawn at water splits nothing, I was mesmerised into doubts ...doubts to the right to inculpate, as tyrants. As we all are, given the chance. And now I stand shameful, ashamed that I am ashamed to bully. The vile of a merciful murderer. The sympathy from the predator at it's prey. I lower my head in lowliness, like a man that peed in his pants, facing the mob of mockery, tears of a limp wimp flesh. The incapability. and after all it comes to this.


"wash not woes , but high them more than tide of drinks, for knives drawn at water splits nothing..."

.adapted from a chinese idiom.

"for Christians only"

Today I met this lady that is responding to the government's rally for us Singaporeans to have more kids. And also for the singles to have help to meet up and be married. She told me that there was this outing for people to know each other , meet up and make friends. She said I could not go. Because it's for Christians only. I asked why, and she said :" it's in the bible that we must be equally yoked."

I need to know what is not equal between a person walking the street who is a not a christian and another one walking the same street who is one. That they cannot meet to be friends.

I NEED TO KNOW.

...the fleeing singaporeans on tuesday...

.. the news is barely out. And on the papers, just even the current day has yet to come to pass. And our beloved countryman and women ran, and many of them.. to take what they can and flee. If I am immune to pain, I will push my fingers all the way into the back of my eyes.... I am disgusted with what I see on the television. Disgust with this behavior, the rush to save oneself, and not being able to listen, to calm down, and to see and understand. BUT to slash and burn and save oneself and flee. Oh , this world is so full of them. Oh I hate kinds like this whom jump to conclusion at the slightest hint of rumors, and what do they do they speak untruth and blabber staining twist to the real thing, and cost so much harm and distortion. They feel like worms to me. And they need a Christ. A solution which comes no longer in a tiny painless needle. We bring to the graceful, disgrace. We need to wear disgrace and inflict unto the graceful hopefuls, the ugliness of disgracefulness, and mirror them as what they are.