the great disheartening

come to my arms, lost lover. One held deared for all my mortal memories..how can I find you again? How do I embrace thee forever once again? We have stood together, and watch each other aged, and matured .. and in times of dependence...I held with both my arms and lean totally on you. for this is my love and my passion....Had you me? and I believed with more than all of my heart that we are one..every single day. in times of fear I chanted thy name thee of whom bestow unto the lost, me, strength.

Was it my pride? tis straying that is of me? Had I in direction misguided? ..thus complacent? Is this that I have asketh much? A confirmation and seal of our love, a certification for self assurance and gratifying....and in that and those ...I lost you. ....this few months, I walked the thorns alone...though it fills my heart with pain that my voice no longer stand loyal to me...I breath the dark lands blank, daze and with no direction nor purpose, I walked the day path insecure unsure and lost.. I am no longer a person. I am less, so much lesser. Can I not ask for more?

is this the wrong I reap?

and I lost you. This disheartening, chains and grips my heart tight like a vice, for I have lost you, and thus my voice...and my tears can no longer tell the story..

have I erred ,trip and fall..?. do I realise that I have to find you from nowhere again? I longed for your return and you... how do I ? I relive memories, where we would fight and love, I remember the sweetness of pain with you.... have I at you thrown disappointment? Have I upon our love judged,on a dried tree skin degraded, and physically our bond?..where it's created by it's killers themselves to praise and masturbate their each and own vanity? have I ? have I fallen to their lure? have I?

How do I re-align? and the right path do I re-discover? a familiar place where passion need no justification or prove nor can it be graded. where love is just between two person, you and me...and with that all is enough and all will come. and so shall my voice and my tears cast upon the world knowledge , stories and hopefully wisdom.

this great disheartening of us..walking with you, yet the sight of it is the cause of the heartache, ...

I carry the the load of you weightless.

maul

.. he who pour his gift and showered all his inheritance to us. long lived the children..Seeds that needs to be passed, long with the old, gave to us mutation ten fold. The main pour of rain, and those live in bliss lest the first and last drops echos screams... forever. In hands they hold hammers spike with nails.. the talkers shalt be mutilated, silt not the wrist but dismember the fingers. And mate skulls with fist, bones in traction cracked to thin, swarms are coming..ways to sodomy, as the flow of human excrete and fluid hard and congregate...flesh lays ruin, by flesh. The coming time bears no reason, no ears, and now since no one is listening. We will not. watch my ways and yours.. in your white hypocrisy for when you claim to be a righteous one, I do not. .. I claim to be a bastard.

DO SIN.

COME FORTH AND OFFENCE !

.. for every offence that is given, for every mayhem that is conceived. we take the blame of the driven we take the name of the forsaken! oh fuck thy soul bathe in lubricant ! you speak of rules and ways that lick the sick glory of self stain pride, built on speak that tiny gals swine ! hark ! you the beauty clean and green, rich and polish, smart and gleam , "we are just bones brain and cock ! deep down we are stronger than all!" where fist grind fist, and blood is where guts spilled in glory. rape reason as she falls, as we built a idol in adore weight her high and name her treason ! I am the dissident I am the insolence I am the mutiny I am this unity , indomitable raged and primordial. The sickness of fraud is enough, and reason have had her tries, where justice lies shamed. The strike of the left hand comes firm hard and merciless. We welcome blood and disgrace and mock the slap on you fucking face.

yeah... come forth and offence, mock your god fucked face.

Disown !

...fuck the sweeten blood ties, I am bred like the wolves and the rats, and I am bred for war. fuck the self righteous old sags, thou hath not half the honour thy splatter with thy sick saliva slime. fuck thy seniority and self imposed authority. I have no respect for it. fuck the promise of a right life, I am bred in perversion and pain and anger scream thru the nights in my dreams for years that you fear to hear. I am getting ready. Are you?

disown an aching limb

your eyes do see, just your ability see not
ears don't hear, for true is not it's lang..
mouth doth speak, trust abused favored lies
advocate, you are the best of lies disguised!!

words not yours, so copied and steal
ideas stale, those you think you claimed as own?
so to where is this "seek" ?
that you so beautifully preach?
whose is this "we"?
that you would with it will find a day?
you war your own , bite the hand that feeds..
but shame true not your way, for as proved you are still inner-ly fray.
when all has cometh two as one, you married your bride..
sex and die with her, a wooden fetish called pride.
You drive those out, you fail to down,
You hate those whom betters you,
while you preach contradictions, truth weightless ounces
and frame them so with dishonor ly crowns..


fools are you whom not learn , unlearn and relearn
fools are ones with eyes blind not but mind clots
fools are the silly ones, whom degrades it's own unfulfilled desires..
fools are you, one whom speaks alone, am watched and mocked.
fools are you, encrypted, self made vice dons the chores of nothings petty piles,
fools are you so self claimed Michael's.... damn you to the fallens!!!
and serve me well "the accuser" legions in numbers, wealthy in strength, cometh forth and bask the glory, trample on with thy cloven hoofs.

He is enemy to ye that speak truth through hideous plights,
He is but nothing of the earth, space and water ,
He is the vermin that depicts the very shame of the whores whom he fail to laid,
He is that disgrace which he buries his failures with despise and hate,
He is the masquerade that speaks honey words to flowers between legs
He is my disgust, and equals the rest to like past
He is the inferior predator, on the child bearers he forces himself.
He is the intoxicate, that dos your mind in the name to educate.
He is not the "no one." for disgraceful if an association.


no gift is this that sprout from the very of disease,
of that, of course, of so thee wish ..a fantasy so pungent that thou so reek
cause stand nil of a virtue , thee holds such
poor the ignorant , little and un-humble types.
oh wait oh wait, whom speaks of disguised?
of who did entice lies and lies enticed did who?
Of that agreed, that it did twitched ,
in ye conscience clear and unlike thee.
of nothing they utter.. the lost gone ones,
of nothing they are , ... nothing sustained.


cometh forth sire , whom thy name is whispered

that is eagerness, the unwaitable urge of an underage, like the lust for
it's rainbow colored cherry pie,
that is a cover, like shield , the babies hide under sheets,
that is not nature, oh please spare mother earth from your daily sprouting
of pus.
that is not passion, for haven’t you heard this ; " why the impatience for
an eternal gloat ?"
that is not enlightenment, and nothing of that great for didn't you say "
if one would preach like god, fools would the one who fall ."
that is true the not learnt yet you part.
that is not about controlling the heart, but excuses for the inability to
think and reflect.
that is not words, not words mean for a fallen, a truly fallen.
this is a wait, a wait for admittance.
this is imperfection.
this is me
this I admit.


....is lust your root?
or the lying mask beneath your pretentious hood?
is pride your food?
or the organic pleasure of stolen stories' loot?
is denial your art?
or lowly mistake to stinking excuses of pride un-part?
is betrayal from years?
or is that an illusion of a ghostly mail?
is trust your prey?
or the innocent's heart and the fragile fray?
Is preaching your way?
or those are but words with flowering haze?
so indulgence's your strut?
that excuses the severe of your ways destruct?
is repentance de rigueur?
or so the whip spared the kid?
is practice in your preach?
or your deluding warmth is your perfected ditch?
does forgiveness matters?
years, pride and solitude is utter…

need no insanity to mask my in-confidence.

so now fame’s your search?
Not the rubbish talk of passion’s urge?
You twist your words?
Like titanic storm and typhoon’s worst..
But yours is not..
But the tiny storm of a disturbed cup..
Not worth are pies?
The worthless is you , and your ego piles.
So the mask you deny?
Must be the lust of a ghost , that caught my eyes..
So shout you now, OH!!!…innocent..
And claim sympathy of a wrongly burnt?
Displeased expressed?
Ha! nah.. , just words to ring when you are in your desolate urn.
Hey aren’t you’ve been wronged?
Why now the hope of new born flesh?
What use is new, when old is good?
What good is flesh when heart’s just ash.?


Nope. * tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock ,,,tick tock….*


Speak not , link not, of sowing the dones
When it’s the ploying plans is it’s magical wand
Oh pain is, hurt is, in seeing the one,
The hiding of yearning, in your musical barn
Take in, pick up , the any of one..
for the cover of lost, is by a fitfully hunt..
oh, too much , too great in the coming of freeze?
And now you are at it, again, doing the twist..
Ha!, scalded did, burnt did, but of whose are the limbs.?
Stopping screaming the dream of the conniving scheme
Act not , betray not, but of rage and of lost..??
Then it’s a sad of your age, still not knowing your course..
Whip should , tear should, by the rights of .. ..war.
When punishment descends, we’ll observe more…
oh no, oh no, not another stolen did??!!
that’s a line …going same hearts beats..
better not, matter not, but who’s in pain?
but the alone some squat, with the heart so faint.
Hope on, hope on, with your spirit of cain,
When your ego’s thaw? for time’s all drained.
laugh yes, laugh yes, all others may..
in pairs if they prayed, and into their heavenly days.
so do so do, the sad of a “truth”?
the alone of pride, a bitter ul sight.

my rage that will not die over 20 years, will yours bind?

a long long time

the core is endless. Only if it ceases will then father time has allocated enough. Till now no one know if this is bliss or curse. Oh, the core is endless and this is cannot be altered. We cannot seek to change anything unless the core is altered. And if the core changes, it dies and only a new one will come to replace. It might be new but it is not the same. Ah, the core is endless and thus the journey seems long, but this wrong there is not a journey. Mortally it is a passing cloud, yet time is limitless. unless the core changes, then time will be reset. Hark ! the core is endless and so are dreams. Unless the core changes, else dreams will die. And dreams which is tied mortally will lifespan like it's host which is mortally defined. Sigh, the core is endless, yet mortally all cannot be defined by the core, and thus choice is given. Limited but in existence. A almost useless tool but that can be used for self comforting. The core is endless, and "a long along time" is wrong. There is no time. It's just mortally trying to think in it's limited mortal capability of understanding, which in itself is wrong. ...why us? the core is endless.

-:-:-

..oh, ... what a god damn dreadful day...