the great disheartening

come to my arms, lost lover. One held deared for all my mortal memories..how can I find you again? How do I embrace thee forever once again? We have stood together, and watch each other aged, and matured .. and in times of dependence...I held with both my arms and lean totally on you. for this is my love and my passion....Had you me? and I believed with more than all of my heart that we are one..every single day. in times of fear I chanted thy name thee of whom bestow unto the lost, me, strength.

Was it my pride? tis straying that is of me? Had I in direction misguided? ..thus complacent? Is this that I have asketh much? A confirmation and seal of our love, a certification for self assurance and gratifying....and in that and those ...I lost you. ....this few months, I walked the thorns alone...though it fills my heart with pain that my voice no longer stand loyal to me...I breath the dark lands blank, daze and with no direction nor purpose, I walked the day path insecure unsure and lost.. I am no longer a person. I am less, so much lesser. Can I not ask for more?

is this the wrong I reap?

and I lost you. This disheartening, chains and grips my heart tight like a vice, for I have lost you, and thus my voice...and my tears can no longer tell the story..

have I erred ,trip and fall..?. do I realise that I have to find you from nowhere again? I longed for your return and you... how do I ? I relive memories, where we would fight and love, I remember the sweetness of pain with you.... have I at you thrown disappointment? Have I upon our love judged,on a dried tree skin degraded, and physically our bond?..where it's created by it's killers themselves to praise and masturbate their each and own vanity? have I ? have I fallen to their lure? have I?

How do I re-align? and the right path do I re-discover? a familiar place where passion need no justification or prove nor can it be graded. where love is just between two person, you and me...and with that all is enough and all will come. and so shall my voice and my tears cast upon the world knowledge , stories and hopefully wisdom.

this great disheartening of us..walking with you, yet the sight of it is the cause of the heartache, ...

I carry the the load of you weightless.