day of letter

not today.

Start : 9.43am
ten mins ago I started worrying about the things that I do so that I can live, to please the ones who gives me life. Well I chose them to be the ones whom will be giving me life. Weird huh? And every ten mins or so, I get to remember that the ONE has decided not to give me joy. And my joy is dependent on time frames and different windows required different incidents or physical things that will be capable to seek me joy. This window, the current one I have none.
End : 9.47pm

Start :10.14am
every recurrences or relay of the incident in my mind brings such pain and disappointment..of un acceptance. Yet though I am mundane compared to goddesses I know. that brave fields or thorns instead of just wearing them on the head. They swim in twigs and ran thru fields filled with pikes and diseases of mankind. And while they carry it they still have to go thru the everyday lovers immature request for physical and emotion requirements and desire satisfaction. I need to do a spell check at this point
End : 10.18am

Start :11:42am
you start the dog with a rubber tube or wood pole. And everytime you pass by the dog, you hit it on it's nose, hit it on it's head, once or twice maybe more, as wished. it's regular but then again it's not constant. You know it will be repeated but just not sure when. Til it dies I guess...why do do this? we don't need to. oh come on, do you do things only when you need to? do you celebrate chirstmas, birthdays and whatever , because you need too? do you have sex becuase you need too? we don't. We still do it. Because we do. Not really becuase we like it. But we do it. Like we smile at our neighbours when we see them. Do we need too? no. do we look forward to smile at them, because we like too? no. But we do anyhow.

ps:..., it just keeps coming back.
End :11.51am